Tuesday, December 1, 2009

It's Time...

Airport delays are the best time to catch up on stuff you've been neglecting. Here goes...

Last week I spoke with a good friend of mine who reminded me that it had been a while since I last blogged. "No time, huh?" she asked. "No time," I replied. That, I thought was going to be the title of my most recent entry, but alas, in the time between then and now much has transpired and I feel led not to lament over the lack of time I've had to blog (which has been filled with much living) but to talk about the present time. The now time. The God time. The Kairos time.

It's Time is the title of a mix that my best friend put together. Today, I am hearing it with new ears. My heart is open to receive it like never before. I've had a hard/heart time recently. She reminded me this morning as she ministered to me through a mix of hysterical tears and hysterical laughter that I have one week to mourn the place where I had been. If I am to operate in Kairos--God's perfect time--then I must be mindful of how my Chronos--ordinary time--is spent. It's time to get up. It's time to make it. It's time to have strength, courage, and wisdom. It's time to choose. It's time to let my tears dry on their own. It's time to for a new season. It's time to be ok. It's time to learn how to love. It's time.

It's time to get up. I don't know about you, but every once and a while I'll get so focused (or fixated) that I get stuck in it. I am rendered paralyzed. Immobile. And so, starting with the wiggling of my toes, I am moving up and on. Like the man whose friends were about to lower him through the roof to experience the healing power of Jesus, I am taking up my bed and walking.

It's time to make it. I may get stuck from time to time. I may even have brief bouts of laziness (and/or procrastination). But I've always been super ambitious. And so, whether spiritually, academically, vocationally, or relationally, it is time to make it. Time to dream big things, do big things, and see big things! It is time not to survive, but to thrive! It is time to inhale the inspiration of the Spirit and exhale those things that can breathe life into the lives of others.

It's time to have strength, courage, and wisdom. No longer will weakness, fear, and foolishness guide my steps or determine my direction in life--whether my own or someone else's. Truth is, I cannot get up or make it if I operate in fear, weakness and foolishness. I'm so glad that God has not given me a spirit of fear. I'm so glad that when I am weak that God's strength is perfect. I'm so glad that if and when I ask for wisdom, that God will grant it to me. Ahhh, I feel a sermon coming on!

It's time to choose. With 165 days left until graduation, it is time to make some choices about the next phase of life. Where should I be? New Jersey? New York? Nashville? Chicago? Atlanta? What should I be doing? More school? Work? Church? Community? Non-Profit? While it is time to choose, it is important to choose carefully? It is important to be connected to God, to have my ear to his heart, and to be guided by His will. Choosing without discerning the will of God is risky business. Trust me, I've been there. I've done some things that I clearly either heard "no" on or either heard nothing at all. Impatience got the best of me. But this time around, I will wait patiently for my time.

It's time to let my tears dry on their own. I wear my heart on my sleeve and my hurt in my tears. My father, if and when he sees my crying, attributes the tears to my mother's side of the family. He sees tears as a sign of weakness. But even Jesus wept. Tears are a sign of passion and compassion. Tears are cleansing. Tear are liquid prayers. These days I will not be ashamed and try to hide my tears or even dry my tears, but rather I will let them dry on their own. I may even leave the salt stains on my cheeks as a sign that I do feel and that I feel deeply. Better yet, I will let Jesus dry my tears and comfort my heart.

It's time to learn how to love. I am reminded that great love takes great risk. When you venture to live a life of love--eros and philia--there is indeed a great risk. Your feelings can be hurt. You can be left disappointed. Your heart can be broken. Your heart can be broken. But I realized this morning, the artist and hopeless romantic that I am, that I'd rather live a life of fictive hope than to live a life of hopelessness. Although both are dangerous, at least with fictive hope there is something to look forward to. And so, even though it is risky business, I am daring myself to live a life of love--love of God, love of self, and love of neighbor.

What time is it?

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