This was sent to me by my dear friend Shanee' Yvette. Like Mary, I am pondering these things in my heart. I invite you to do the same...
This is Shanee'
Your use of the world camouflage to describe dresses and your thighs was very striking.
Camouflage is a method of crypsis (hiding). It allows an otherwise visible organism or object to remain unnoticed, by blending with its environment (according to wikipedia---I Know Not a Great Source).
I thought about what camouflage means when I read your post about dresses. Hiding? Blending? Trying to maintain a certain level of safety? Survival. What about compliment? complement (a thing that completes or brings to perfection)? I know the word camouflage, personally. As someone who is struggling to love ALL of myself I read your post and thought about how I speak about myself using language that doesn't exactly benefit my "Body Loving" cause. How did I learn to speak in these ways about myself. How did a word describing a evoluntionary mechanism animals use to avoid violence and destruction become an appropriate way to describe the ways in which beautiful fabric adorns my precious body? Beautiful fabric which I choose in accordance with my own creativity and aesthetic. Beautiful fabric that makes me smile and happy to be alive. Beautiful fabric that tells the story of me: tragedies, dramas, romances, and comedies. How did violence become a part of my description of the adornment process? Who taught me to hate/hide myself? How can I unlearn that? Hiding. Hiding and fear hold each other's timid hands. What am I afraid of? Someone seeing me? Others beholding parts of me that the world has convinced me are unsightly? The truth of me is I have big chunky thighs that will never not rub when I walk and a heart shaped butt with fanny pack-like pockets at top but rather than camouflage these parts of me I'd rather learn to drape them with fabrics so that they feel safe, safe in that they are loved and protected by me and not subject to my vicious critiques and scathing looks of dis-appreciation. These are my great-grandmother's thighs and my grandmother's booty; my mother shares these gifts with me. Would I look at the three of these women and say "Hide yourself woman, be thee concealed for your are repulsive!". Absolutely Not! Then why do I disgrace them each time I shimmy into some garment that wasn't made with me in mind all the while damning the reflection of the women who made me. Camouflage, eh?
I'm curious. I assume short skirts are out due to modesty issues and insuring credibility and comfort(personal and public) in your ministry but what about you and how you feel about you. Is camouflage the right word? Am I making too much of the verb? Perhaps. Am I calling you out? No stones over here. Did something you said you call out to me? Yes, the sound of my own voice.Thank you for sparking my reflection today. I love you.
- Posted using BlogPress on the fiercest device ever...the iPad!!!