Unheard Of...

Hubby and I went gym shopping on Friday. Not gym clothes shopping, but gym shopping. We traveled around our area to five different health clubs in search of the one. I was tired of ducking and dodging cars and deer on my walks in the neighborhood. It was getting a bit dangerous!

I'll spare you the details of our trip. (We did settle on a gym with a pool and classes and racquetball courts!!!) Let's just say, our day was kind of like this Loews commercial:

Parking Space Musings...

So, y'all know that I have been working as the Assistant to the Pastor at the Bethesda Baptist Church of New Rochelle four months now. (Time flies!) Well, said position comes with my very own reserved parking space. A parking space. For me. What?!?!?!

At first I was reluctant to pull into the space, like someone was going to come to my car and tell me to move. I wasn't yet ordained and I felt like I hadn't earned the space (as if anyone ever does). Every time I pulled up, I felt like a little girl playing dress up in her momma's heels.

But sometime over the summer, in between services when the church parking lot is poppin', I came to be grateful for the space. It is a good feeling to pull up to the church and know that you know that you know that you have a parking space.

And, if I may tell the truth for a moment, when I pulled into the lot for Wednesday night Bible study, I almost lost my mind when someone was in the spot. Gasp! How dare they? You know good and well that you ain't the Assistant to the Pastor, so why is your beautiful, shiny, luxury car in my space? In an instant, God reminded me that the work I do for Him is not about titles or amenities, but about spreading the good news of Jesus Christ.

But still, I have to admit that more than feelings of inadequacy, ease, and entitlement, the parking space invokes deep laughter within me. Sometimes I crack myself up! No matter how I felt otherwise, somewhere deep down inside, every time (yes, every single time) I pull into the church parking lot, ease into my space, hop out my car, and lock the door, I feel like I am in an episode of Amen. I can hear, "Turn on the Lights from Heaven Lord, Shine on me..." in the background. I can see Sherman Helmsley jumping rope and praising God that he didn't break his hip! Won't you laugh with me...

Soup du Jour

image taken from: http://www.americansweets.co.uk/ekmps/shops/statesidecandy/images/duncan-hines-coconut-home-style-frosting-1195-p.jpg

Sometimes I crack myself up....

This morning I woke up at 7:00am. It was another one of those days when I didn't feel like getting out of bed. This time I knew what it was. The snow was falling and my head was hurting. I am connected to the earth, my biological systems are tied to her weather systems. When the barometric pressure changes too quickly I can be assured that a migraine will ensue. Needless to say, my head was hurting and Church History, no matter how much of an intellectual crush I have on Dr. Davis, was not the place I wanted to be.

But I got up, and checked my email to find that Dr. Davis cancelled class because the weather was bad and streets had not been plowed in his neck of the woods. So, I praised and thanked God that I didn't have to use an absence or sit through class with a headache and I laid back down.

Of course, when you don't have to go to school, when you have the option of getting more rest, you find yourself wide awake. So I got up, played on the Wii Fit, ate breakfast, and proceeded to finish my sermon for this evening. I couldn't guarantee that class would be cancelled this evening. Just when I was on a roll (Shout out to the Holy Spirit!), I heard my telephone vibrating. I picked it up, "Hello." There was silence followed by something along the lines of, "This is the Drew University Weather Emergency Line..." At that point, I stopped paying attention to the message and started dancing! I did the snake...I did the wop...I did the running man...I did the butterfly...I did dances that have yet to be named...all while listening to the recorded message. And then, I laughed at myself. Hard.

(But now I will get back to work. Despite not having class, the sermon is still due.)

Image taken from http://www.memeticians.com/2008/12/18/SnowDay.jpg

I Ain't Neva Scared...

ok, maybe sometimes...maybe a little bit, but nevertheless, this morning I had an encounter that proved to me that I have increased in courage and fearlessness over the last two years.

It was the deer again.

At 7:15am I set out for my daily walk/run. I am grateful that the sun is rising earlier these days so I can get out early. As I made my way up Green Village road, towards Woodland, right at the edge of the Drew Forest, I saw several thin twig like things--aka deer legs--moving around. I had not heard them because I was listening to Erykah Badu (btw, Danger is a great album, in general, and a great album for me to run to, specifically). But they had clearly heard me. While I had not heard them, I saw them—and in a moment—I had a decision to make. Would I punk out and cross the street? Would I put on my big girl panties and walk past them? Would I let fear rule me and turn around only 5 minutes into my walk? Or would I walk in the confidence that they are more scared of me than I am of them?

And so it goes, I kept on going. I didn't cross the street. I didn't take an alternate route. I didn't run. I walked past them and continued my walk. And I was proud of myself. I don't know why I kept going. Perhaps it was because I was still filled up from reading Psalm 27 this morning, "The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?" Perhaps it was because I was tired of feeling silly everytime I told someone about my fear of the deer. Or perhaps, I'm not afraid anymore. Only time, spring leaves, and walks through the path will tell. That said, I thought I'd end this post by bringing it back to the beginning. Below is the first (of many) blogs about my encounter with the deer in the Drew forest. This entry was entitled, "How I made it Over" and was written on Wednesday, September 19, 2007. Laugh, it's OK. I promise!

“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’”

The above verse of Scripture is from Genesis 1:26. I placed special emphasis on “let them rule” for a reason. I have a really hard time with this directive from God. I’m a city girl, born and raised in an area where squirrels and pigeons rule the universe, with an occasional raccoon or skunk making an appearance. In all honesty, I’m scared of most animals including cats. In recent months I’ve moved from dog-liker to dog-lover (thanks to Snowy, Harley, and Widget) but that is as far as I go. I’ve had to navigate my way around squirrels all of my life, so they don’t scare me as much as they annoy me. That was until Hudson Park....

On a beautiful Wednesday in August, my best friend and I went to Hudson Park in New Rochelle to sit by the water and calm our weary souls before heading to Bible study. We were relaxing until a kamikaze squirrel had the audacity to roll up on us as we laid out in the grass. I won’t type the whole story, but after two run-ins with this squirrel, we gracefully (really, it was clumsily) grabbed our blanket, got in the car, and left before the squirrel inflicted any harm on us. I know, you think I’m crazy, but the squirrel got within 3 feet of us on our blanket, chased around, didn’t run when we threw full Poland Springs bottles at him (why couldn’t it be a she?), and went into a Jackie Chan type position as if he had a debt to settle. I haven’t looked at squirrels the same since.

This blog isn’t about squirrels. I refused to let one squirrel change the way I interact with the rest of his species. However, on Monday I encountered an animal that really made me call into question the whole dominion thing. To get to class (or anywhere on campus), I can either drive, or I can walk through a path in the forest behind my building. I usually walk....only driving when I know I’m going to be on campus after dark. The forest is full of critters (squirrels [that run from me], chipmunks, and rabbits), as it should be.

Back to Monday. I worked on campus, went to the gym, and was heading back home to do homework. As I walked through the forest, minding my own business, I saw a deer. It was big. Not sure if it was bigger or smaller than most, but I knew that it was certainly bigger than me. I stopped. He stopped. We stared at each other and I turned back toward campus. I proceeded to call my mother who didn’t know anything about deer (as if I assumed that even though we lived around the corner from one another that her block had deer and mine didn’t). I then called one of my cohorts from RCDS who I know has deer in her backyard, but she wasn’t available. When I couldn’t get her, I called another RCDS friend. She comforted me, encouraged me to walk through the forest, laughed at me, and talked to me as I made my way home. When I walked through the forest again, the deer was still there but it had crossed the path and was on the other side. It stopped, stared at me and let me walk. I was grateful to have made it over.

It sounds silly, but I haven’t walked through the forest since. I miss my daily exercise, but I’d hate to have a not so pleasant run-in with a deer. If a squirrel in New Rochelle had the cojones to approach me being 1/64th of my size, what could a deer that is bigger and probably do? What happens if a whole deer family comes out and perceives me as a threat? Does the deer know the Scripture? If I was sure that they knew about the whole dominion thing, I’d probably walk without fear, but since I’ve never seen the New Deer Translation of the Bible, I’ll pass...rather, I’ll drive.

So God, if we are truly given dominion, please give me the courage to walk through the forest to get to campus. Until I hear from You, I’m gonna drive....

image taken from http://mahschocolate.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/bambi.jpg

Change of Tune...

            The tune to which my life plays out has always been do be do be do...  In other words, I am a doer. Anyone who knows me, well or peripherally, knows that I am a doer. I won't go into all of my doing here (my head will start to hurt), but let's just say in the last year I've had seven or eight simultaneous jobs while carrying 15 credits at school. I am a doer. Sometimes I wonder why I do so much. Perhaps it is people pleasing. Perhaps it is restlessness. Perhaps I do not know how to say no. Perhaps it is the way I understand my value as a child of God/human being. Perhaps I need a change of tune.  

            In fact, Dr. Heather Elkins would say that I need to change my tune, so "be-ing" comes before do-ing. Be do be do be... It sounds awkward. It seems out of step. I'll have to learn a new dance, but  apparently, that is the memo that God has been sending me over the last two months. God has been whispering and shouting, in the day and night, through written word and song, in my heart and from the mouths of others that I need to be still and know that he is God (Psalm 46:10). I am fully aware that I am moving into a new season in my life, where being still and knowing God is the order of the day. It is a new thing for me, but I am confident that it is the right thing for me. So, I've pared down my class schedule, my jobs, and my extracurricular activities. I am going into the Fall just be-ing, so I can discern what God would have for me to be do-ing.

            Here is where God's wicked sense of humor comes in...Yesterday, my roommate and I were running errands. On our way back into our apartment, we stopped in the foyer at a box of books. Being the book junkie that I am, I had already scavenged the box for good finds. (one such find was Loving the Body: Black Religious Studies and the Erotic edited by Dr. Anthony Pinn and Dr. Dwight Hopkins.) She wanted to stop and take a peak, so we did. As I looked through again, I noticed a book that I had not seen on my first hunt. I picked it up and chuckled to myself. Thoughts danced in my head: Ok, God, I get it! OK, God, I'm going to slow down. OK, God, you win! OK, God, be-ing, be-ing, be-ing! The book that I held in my hands (that is now in the suitcase I will take with me to Tennessee) is Mediations for Women Who Do Too Much by Anne Wilson Schaef.  

Just in case I did not get it, God sent a message loudly and clearly—a message that I can meditate on 365 days of the year.