Think on These Things...

Hymn of Promise by Natalie Sleeth (1985)

In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;

In cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!

In the cold and snow of winter there’s a spring that waits to be,

Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

There’s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;

There’s a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me.

From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,

Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;

In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity,

In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,

Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see

We sang this hymn in chapel today—my final chapel service as a student in Drew University Theological School. What a fitting song to sing in this Easter season, but also in this phase of my life. I truly feel like a butterfly emerging from her cocoon ready to soar...

(image taken from http://www.howdididoit.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/monarch-butterflies.jpg)

'Twas the Night Before My Final Day of Classes in Seminary...

and I cannot believe I made it this far...

and I know that I've only come this far by faith...

and I am basking in the wonderfulness that is my life...

and I am grateful to God for all of this wonderfulness...

and I have three assignments between me and graduation...

and I must stop blogging so I can go finish one of the three (final sermon due tomorrow)...

but I must first say that I know that I know that I know that I am a preacher...

and I also know that I am not yet the preaching woman that I will become...

but I am grateful for the preaching woman that I have blossomed into...

and I've cried more tears in the last few days than I did in my first semester at Drew...

and these are tears of joy and hope rather than tears of frustration, despair, and loneliness...

because I know that I haven't walked this journey alone...

Because I haven't walked this journey alone, I must give God thanks for the cloud of witnesses that have been by my side—whether present or in spirit—as I have walked this walk. I don't want to name any for fear of forgetting just one. I am grateful for those who have sustained me, prayed with me, studied with me, hugged me, cried with me, listened to me, taught me, mentored me, challenged me, shared meals with me, walked with me, talked with me, sat with me, shopped with me, and preached with me. I am grateful for those who have conspired with me, aspired with me, and inspired me. I am grateful for those women and men who have paved the way for me. I am grateful even for those who will come after me.

'Twas the night before my final day of classes in Seminary and I am grateful!

“How does one become a butterfly?" she asked...

I'm not sure why, perhaps it is because I've spent most of my life—either as a student or teacher—in school, but August has typically been a month I spend in the cocoon preparing to fly. At times I've been forced into the cocoon, like the year when my Aunt Mildred passed away. Life as I had known it had changed. At times I have voluntarily gathered my things—Bible, journal, pen—and entered the cocoon. Those were the moments when I was anticipating and craving transformation. Whether involuntarily or of my own volition, the cocoon has always been a good place for me.

cocoon |kəˈkoōn|nouna silky case spun by the larvae of many insects for protection as pupae.• a similar structure made by other animals.• a covering that prevents the corrosion of metal equipment.• something that envelops or surrounds, esp. in a protective or comforting way : the cocoon of her kimono | figurative a warm cocoon of love. ORIGIN late 17th cent.: from French cocon, from medieval Provençalcoucoun ‘eggshell, cocoon,’ diminutive of coca ‘shell.’ The verb dates from the mid 19th cent.

You have read how Oxford defines the cocoon, but I know you are wondering what does the cocoon mean for/to me? The cocoon is the place where I am changed. It is a place of growth and increased strength. It is a place of darkness of loneliness and sometimes pain. It is the place where my colors and wings are developing. It is the place where I complain about not yet being a butterfly. It is the place where I muster up the courage to fly. It is a place where I struggle and grow tired. It is the place where I write without ceasing. It is the place where I pray without ceasing. It is the place where, for all of the reason I listed above and so many more, I commune with God most intimately. It is the place where, despite the difficult transformation taking place, I am safe and secure. I trust that when I break free from the cocoon I will be stronger, more beautiful, and ready to soar. I will be a butterfly.

So, today, as I prepare to enter my cocoon, I share with you some pearls of wisdom that I've gathered over the years about caterpillars, cocoons, and butterflies (which, by the way, is the title of the dope mix CD that my bestie gave me for my 32nd birthday. It still gets much play on my iPod.) Enjoy!

"Just when the caterpillar thought that life was over, it became a butterfly" (Anonymous)

"You are destined to fly, but that cocoon has got to go." (Nelle Morton)

"If you want a butterfly, you gotta be a butterfly." (India.Aire)

"If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies." (Anonymous)

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." (Maya Angelou)

"Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time." (Deborah Chaskin)

“How does one become a butterfly?" she asked. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” (Anonymous)

"When the time comes for the caterpillar to change into a butterfly it spins a cocoon around itself. Once the cocoon is finished the change starts to take place. Everything about the caterpillar becomes different. What will emerge later on after a great struggle is not a caterpillar with wings but a new creature! It is a butterfly!" (Anonymous)