The Mommy Diaries: Blessed Quietness

This morning I woke up with the song, "Blessed Quietness" on my heart:

Blessed Quietness, Holy Quietness,
What assurance in my soul;
On the stormy sea, Jesus speaks to me,
And the billows cease to roll...

Being a parent is the most joyful, and most challenging, work I have ever done. There are some moments when it has been stormy, but in this new phase of my life I am leaning on the Lord like never before. It took a delicate, and beautiful, baby girl for me to really recognize--and live out--the fact that God is Sovereign and that I control nothing (nada, zip, zero, zilch). It has taken our daughter trusting me with all her heart to really recognize the absolute trustworthiness of our God. It has taken the (sometimes monotonous) 24/7 cycle of caring for an infant to truly see the Holy in all things. It has taken me loving a human being like I've never loved anyone else before--to the point of putting all of her needs before my own--to glimpse the depths of love that God has for us and shown to us through His Son.

So on this day, I am grateful for Baby Girl for preaching the good news to me day in and day out. And, so not to push my luck, I am going to end this post as I am writing it in the blessed quietness of Baby Girl napping with the hum of the washing machine off in the distance.

Also, shout out to Jasmine LaShawn who stopped by to help me with Baby Girl yesterday. As little lady napped, she helped me to organize my office space in the nursery, making this post possible. Stop by her blog, Princess Reflections, and be blessed...

Think on These Things...

Lately fear has been attempting to creep in and keep me in comfortable places where I have no business. Doubt has been whispering sweet nothings in my ears trying to contradict the word of God in my heart. And so, this song has been ministering to my spirit lately. Most recently during worship at Bethesda after the choir finished their 2nd reprise of the song, the preacher of the hour said, "Stop trying to psychoanalyze everything and just say, "Yes Lord."

I, simultaneously, hate it and love it when a preacher gets all in my business.

All up in my business...I hate it because, well, conviction hurts. Instead of being fully present in the moment, like Jesus said in Matthew 6: 25-34, I have been regretfully hitting rewind and anxiously hitting fast forward. Instead of acknowledging the Lord and letting my path be directed, wisdom found in Proverbs 3:6, I have been trying to figure things out. Futile, I know.

All up in my business...I love it because there is nothing sweeter than operating in the will of God for your life. I constantly have to remind myself that God has a plan for my life and that ALL things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to HIS purpose (Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28).

I don't know about you, but I know that God has spoken to me. May it be so...

The Mommy Diaries: Girl's Day Out

Being a full-time stay at home mother is such a blessing! Admittedly, it also has its challenges. One such challenge, especially since we live far away from family and friends, is the being in the house with a lack of adult company (for me...Baby Girl is perfectly content chillin' with her momma all day). To deal with this challenge I joined the Mocha Moms and La Leche League. I also try to have an outing most days of the week. We go for walks, to Target, the grocery store, etc. We have visited family and friends (as long as no one in the house is sick, must protect Baby Girl's immune system). Well, a few weeks ago I discovered another excursion for Mama and Baby: Bring Your Baby Matinees. The Bring Your Baby Matinees are sponsored by The Bump and AMC Theaters.



Bring Your Baby Matinees is held at select AMC Theaters on the first Tuesday of every month. It is an opportunity for parents to get out with their babies to watch newly released movies. Thankfully, we have an AMC Theater in New Brunswick, about 15 minutes from our home. So yesterday I got us dressed (in matching denim dresses, see below), fed Baby Girl, and headed out to the theater to see Rock of Ages. I didn't know what to expect, so I only brought her carseat. (Next time I'll bring her stroller; We were in the theater furthest from the door, which made for a long walk to and from the entrance/bathroom.) We arrived at the theater, picked up my ticket, got some snacks, and took the long walk to Theater 7.  When I walked in I saw a row of strollers parked in the front of the theater. I looked up and there were parents, mostly moms, sitting with car seats next to them, ready and eager to see the movie. (Some ladies were wearing their babies in slings, which I may try next time.) Baby Girl and I walked across the theater (nobody minds this, even during the movie). We sat at the end of a row, as did most moms, just in case we needed to make a beeline out of the theater. (I was most impressed by a mom who came with twins. She had one baby on the right, she was in the middle, and another on the left.) When we sat down, a baby on the right side let out a scream that was followed by a chorus of cries. And guess what? I didn't care. Nobody cared. We were so excited to be out of the house and at the movies that even the sound of crying babies was welcome. Now, Baby Girl didn't join the chorus, but she was intrigued by her new surroundings. And my, when the movie started, she was captivated by the big screen, flashing colors, and music. I may not have enjoyed the film, but she sure did! When she wasn't focused on the movie, she was either nursing or sleeping; The Bring Your Babies Matinees encourages breastfeeding mommies to feed their babies while enjoying the movie. At one point she got a little fussy. Like most of the parents in the theater, when that happened I stood up in the aisle and rocked her until she was calm again. In fact, most of the babies were quiet and, when they weren't, parents were proactive about keeping babies happy. I don't think anyone left the theater because baby was crying without consolation. This theater was no noisier than one where people talk to their neighbors, sneak and answer their cell phones during the show, and/or talk to the movie. All in all, we had an amazing day out! I am looking forward to our August date!


- Posted using BlogPress on the fiercest device ever...the iPad!!!

The Mommy Diaries: Mash Up

Baby Girl is six weeks old. I thought I'd be writing more often, but during those rare times when I'm not nursing or holding her as she sleeps, I'm either trying to get stuff done or napping myself. Truth be told, this entry is being typed on my iPhone at 3:00am. (Truth be told, I'm finishing this post three days later because the demands of motherhood be that way sometimes!) Lord have mercy...
Anyway, here are some of my thoughts six weeks into this thing called parenthood...
On Nursing...
As soon as I made the decision that I wanted to have children I knew I wanted to breastfeed. Hubby and I were in agreement on this issue. He's from Ghana and formula feeding is a rarity there. I have nothing against formula (I am a formula fed baby), but I do believe that breast is best. Plus, breastfeeding is a profoundly theological statement, pointing to an Awesome God who wonderfully created these bodies and promised to supply all of our needs according to His riches in glory (Philippians 4:19). That being said, breastfeeding is a commitment not for the faint of heart. Formula would have been easy (and expensive), but in the words of James Cleveland, "...nobody told me the road would be easy, but I don't believe He's brought me this far to leave me." My hope is to exclusively breastfeed for six months and introduce solid foods around that time in addition to breast milk for the next six months until she's ready for cow's milk.
On Pocketbooks...
Yesterday I ventured out without the baby. Hubby was armed with pumped milk and bottles as I headed to the nail salon for a much needed manicure, pedicure, and eyebrow wax. Like the ladies at Black Girls Run say, you gotta preserve the sexy. (More on preserving the sexy in another post...I should be cleared to exercise during my OB/GYN visit tomorrow.) In any case, it was the first time in six weeks that I left the house without a diaper bag and with my pocketbook. Yes, a pocketbook! It felt strange, to say the least to have such a small bag. These days when we go out I throw the essentials—my wallet, keys, and make-up bag—into Baby Girl's diaper bag and keep it moving. And as much as I love my Vera Bradley diaper bag (thanks to my sister!), I am looking forward to my once a week outing with my Coach bag. With the simple switch of a bag I went from being identified as Baby Girl's mother to Donna. It reminded my that my identity is not solely rooted in motherhood. As an avid watcher of makeover shows, I have noticed that most of the women who are made over were once fabulous women who completely lost themselves when they became mothers. Don't get me wrong, I would do anything for our daughter and am delighted to function in my new role, but I believe that one of the ways that I can be good to her is to be good to me. That said, maybe I'll buy a new bag for my outings (ok, ok, it's a stretch...I know).
On Birthdays...
I turned thirty-six a month after Baby Girl was born. A few days before my birthday hubby asked me what I wanted. Nothing, I replied. Birthdays are usually a big deal to me, but in an instant my priorities shifted. I didn't want a gift. The attention is on Baby Girl now and I am content with celebrating the BIG birthdays—40, 45, 50, etc—from here on out. To my surprise, hubby brought me two dozen roses to commemorate the day. They brought a huge smile to my face and a sweet aroma to our home.
On Having Children After Thirty-Five...
This isn't about geriatric pregnancy as one of the sonogram doctors reminded me that I was (When you conceive past the age of thirty-five, even if its just months after, some folks have a way a making you feel like you should be hanging out with Betty White). This is more about my crazy thoughts that perhaps I should have had children right after my partying days were done. I used to stay up and out until the wee hours of the morning and could function on little sleep. But I've grown old and have been used to getting 8-9 hours of sleep for years now. I thought insomnia during pregnancy was no joke, but nighttime feedings have left me delirious at least four days a week. Everyone tells me to nap when she naps, and I try, but I also try to get dinner on the table and housework done. I'm not the woman who can rest with dishes in the sink. I just can't. All that to say the younger club-hopping Donna would have been able to handle this new schedule. Thanks be to God that His mercies are new every morning; Although I've been tired (to the point of delirium some days), I have been able to meet Baby Girl's needs without compromising our household needs.
On Mothers and Motherhood...
After just six weeks into my new gig I have a newfound respect for mothers and for my mother. Seriously, this is the hardest work I've ever done and the most rewarding. Not that I thought motherhood was easy, but like the slogan for a now defunct MTV show that I can't remember the name for: you think you know, but you have no idea. Shout-out to the moms out there, and special hanks to my mom for raising us AND for coming to be with me as I made the transition into motherhood.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The Mommy Diaries: iPhone App of the Week

It has been a long time since I reviewed an iPad app. Since my last review I have crossed the river, and moved from being a Blackberry user to an iPhone user. (Hubby surprised me with an iPhone for Christmas!) I appreciate being able to sync information—especially appointments in iCal—on ALL of my devices, and of course as a total Apple geek I love the interface and design! But I didn't whip out my almost 5-year old Macbook to tell you that. (She's still kicking. Let the church say, "Amen!")

I did put fingers to keyboard to tell you about my new favorite app. It is not for everyone...but new parents (and anyone who has new parents in their lives) should read further. The app is called Baby Feeding Log and it was created by Aaron Beaver. I downloaded it after being home from the hospital for three days. While in the hospital, the baby nurses would have me keep a log of feedings and diaper changes. They had a neat tear sheet with a spreadsheet where I would record the time I fed Afia, which breast(s) I used (I am exclusively breastfeeding), and how long she nursed on each breast. The same tear sheet was used to record wet and poopy diapers. It was, and still is, important to know whether or not she is getting enough milk when she nurses.

When we arrived home I continued to log Afia's feedings and diaper output. (Thank God, there is much to be logged, lol!) Instead of using the sheet, I used the notepad on my iPhone. I must admit that it was not as easy as filling in the boxes on the hospital spreadsheet, but we had a pediatrician's appointment the next day and I knew that she would assess her weight gain/loss based on this information. That was Thursday. On Friday morning I had an aha! moment

Since there is an app for everything, I thought, "Surely someone has developed an app for logging babies activities of feedings and poopings." And there was! There were several, but I went with Baby Feeding Log because it had the best reviews. The app was free, but there was an in-app option to pay .99¢ to get rid of the advertisements. I opted to get rid of the ads. Anyway, the interface is so easy to use. For feedings, it gives you the option of choosing Left, Right, or Bottle feeding. Once you've chosen your feeding option, you can tap a start button when the feeding begins. Once feeding is over, you hit stop and, like magic, it automatically goes into the log. For diapers, when you hit the diaper button it gives you the option of choosing wet, soiled, or both. The surprise in this app, which I haven't used, but someone else may find helpful is the sleep log. All in all, this app has revolutionized logging feedings and diapers! (Especially those 3am feedings!) I would suggest it for every technologically savvy new mom or dad!

images taken from http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/baby-feeding-log/id412360317?mt=8

- Posted using BlogPress on the fiercest device ever...the iPad!!!

The Mommy Diaries: My Favorite Things

Today is Mother's Day. I have been a mommy for all of nine days and in those nine days I have come across some products that have been time savers and sleep savers. Better than raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, I present you with the Mommy Diaries edition of My Favorite Things:

God Gave Us You

My girlfriend Yvette, currently a Master of Library Science student at North Carolina Central University, gave baby girl a load of books at our baby shower to start her library. (nerds unite!) One of the books she gave us was Bergren and Bryant's God Gave Us You. I read this book to Afia at bedtime when she was in-utero. It is a wonderful story explaining the events surrounding a bear cub's birth that mirrors hubby and my story. The refrain that repeats throughout the text is the Mama Bear saying, "...because God gave us you," attributing the miracle of baby cub's birth to the awesome power of God. It's theology for newborns! (Yvette and I went to Seminary together.) One of the most heartwarming moments in the book is when Mama Bear lets baby cub know she had been praying for her since conception, for her health and for her to have a loving relationship with God to which baby cub replies, "Mama, I love God." Each night I read the book during my pregnancy, Afia would begin to excitedly move around afterward. These days, when I read it to her she gazes at me until her heavy eyelids begin to close. Perhaps, like the Psalmist, she will be able to say, "When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches. Because You have been my help, Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice. My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me" (Psalm 63:6-8).

Body Shop Moringa Products

When preparing my bag to go to the hospital, I listened to the advice of our instructor from the ABC's of Going Home with Baby course and packed luxurious toiletries that would make me feel good post delivery. Lever soap and Vaseline Intensive Care lotion just wouldn't do, so I went to the Body Shop and decided to try something new. I purchased the Moringa shower gel, scrub, and body butter. I usually am attracted to fruity notes, but the Moringa products have a floral scent that is a perfect balance of light, yet strong. Every time I showered in the hospital, the nurses would comment on how good it smelled in my room. More than that, lathering up with the Moringa body butter made me feel pampered and at home. Since I've been home, the floral scent is invigorating—giving me a much needed wake-up after a night of being up and down every two hours to feed Afia.

Fisher Price Rock and Play Sleeper

Speaking of up and down, my nightly ups and downs decreased after deciding to move Afia from her bassinet to this Rock and Play Sleeper made by Fisher Price. This sleeper was not on our registry, but was given to as at our shower. Since we have limited space in our living room, we decided to give it a try. Afia loves, loves, loves this rocker and sleeps peacefully when she in it. On the contrary, her sleep in her bassinet at night left both she and I tired. After doing some more research on the product, we moved the Rock and Play to our bedroom, rolled the bassinet away, and everyone enjoyed a more restful night of sleep. When Afia gets a little fussy all I have to do is throw my arm over the side of the bed and rock her until she falls back to sleep. Did I mention that it is light and it folds up? We easily carry it up and down the stairs depending on where we are settled. We can put it in the car for visits to grandma and grandpa's house. I will be purchasing this sleeper for everyone I know who is expecting a child!

Boppy Pillow

My next favorite item is one that I scoffed at before I actually used it. I heard that the Boppy Pillow was great for nursing, but honestly I thought that it was another one of those things your buy because the registry "must-have" lists tell you that you must have even though you'll never use it. Plus I had a less than stellar experience with the Mama Body Pillow, so I was a bit jaded. Anyway, the Boppy Pillow has made nursing Afia (especially her night feedings) more comfortable for me. I would recommend this pillow for every mom considering nursing and I look forward to the other ways in which baby Afia will use it.

Target's Gillian O'Malley Nursing Camisole

While on the subject of feeding, let me highlight my last favorite thing. The Gillian O'Malley Nursing Camisole is affordable, comes in many colors, and makes nursing easy. It has a built-in shelf nursing bra. I bought three to wear while in the hospital, but they have come in super-handy at home. I have worn it alone while chillin' out in the house. I have layered them with a cardigan when we had a visit from Afia's Uncle and Aunt. Tomorrow I will wear one when we go out for my doctor's visit. I like them so much that yesterday I had my mother go to Target to pick up three more. These camisoles making getting dressed, and getting Afia fed, easy breezy!
Mommies, Grandmas, Aunties, and Friends...what items do you love and recommend for new mothers?
- Posted using BlogPress on the fiercest device ever...the iPad!!!

The Adventures of a Pregnant Woman: The Final Episode

One week ago yesterday, hubby and I were on our way into the Regal Theater to see Steve Harvey's movie "Think Like A Man." Just a few hours earlier we had gone in for my bi-weekly prenatal exam. This exam was slightly different in that it would be my last in office exam before the arrival of our baby girl. Because of signs of preeclampsia—and the immanence of my due date—my doctor advised us to have a nice dinner and to make our way to labor and delivery that night at 10pm. We decided that in addition to a nice dinner that we would go to enjoy a move. This would be our last date night as a family of two. We talked, laughed, and (I) cried in anticipation of the arrival our baby girl.

I read a quotation today that summed up my labor and delivery experience. Sigmund Freud is quoted to have said, "One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." I haven't gone into great detail on the blog, but suffice to say my pregnancy hasn't been easy. I was looking forward to God smiling on me and blessing me with a smooth labor and delivery. Well, as always, God did smile on me, however my labor and delivery was a struggle. I'll spare you the details, but let's just say my induction process began on Wednesday night, I (finally) gave birth in an emergency C-Section on Friday morning, and because of my lingering health concerns, we weren't discharged until Tuesday afternoon.

But none of that is important. Out of all of this struggle arrived the most beautiful person I've ever met—our daughter Afia. She favors her father and is the most precious baby I've ever seen. I love to look at her and imagine the future that awaits her. It is an impossible task considering God has promised to bless her exceedingly and abundantly above all I can ask or think. I hold her tiny body in my arms and I look forward to our years together. I look forward to teaching her things. I look forward to learning from her. In fact, in her six days of life, she has already taught me some valuable lessons on nursing, surrender, and trust. And if I had to do it all over again—with all of the struggle—I would not hesitate. She was worth it.

And so, The Adventure of a Pregnant Woman are over, but the Mommy Diaries are just beginning...